Well, I c
an hardly believe that it’s been a year since I started ruminating on what the transition from feminist professional career woman to retiree would be like. I keep trying to think of a word that describes this experience but I’m stymied. I did a little searching on definitions of retired (again) and here’s what I came up with: “Withdrawn from one’s occupation, business, or office; having finished one’s active working life.”
Well, here I am 8 months “in”and I have definitely not withdrawn. Not from my occupation (which I found at my favorite source for understanding words online (www.visualthesaurus.com ) defined as “the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money”) because I’m as devoted to, and involved in, working towards making the world a more caring place as I’ve ever been.
Have I withdrawn from my business? Back to the thesaurus: 
“a commercial enterprise and the people who constitute it; the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money (again), and … a rightful concern or responsibility.” Ah – well, I have certainly not left my sense of rightful concern or responsibility behind; in fact I now have so much more opportunity to focus on that. I have also clearly not finished my active working life.
I’m not yet finished with anything and – in fact – today my life feels filled with beginnings. Keep reading →
Categories: Lessons learned · Moving Forward · New awareness · What I'm doing
Tagged: awareness, change, choices, expectations, freedom, goodbye, Identity, inspiration, keynote, organizing, roles, transition
I’ve been living in the midst of a maelstrom (a powerful circular current, usually the result of conflicting tides) for the past number of days. The confluence of a number of things has left me with more than the usual confusion and uncertainty in my life. Had these occurred one at a time I’m guessing I could have sorted things out more readily but surprise of surprises I don’t get to control when things happen – or what happens – and so it’s been rather an emotional pummeling for the past few days. Let me go back about a week.
I started last week with great intentions to get a lot of work done on the theories course I’ve agreed to teach in the fall. As the development of the 
course unfolded I was aware of huge amounts of resistance to just getting the job done … and this is something that usually I don’t have to deal with. So, me being me, I stopped to give it a lot of thought. What was really going on here? Why was I feeling so incredibly stressed? I was feeling so rested for a while and now I’m back to feeling exhausted. What’s going on here??? It took several days, lots of good conversations with friends, some meditation, and more than a few drams of fine whiskey to figure it out, but I think I’m onto something really important for me.
Keep reading →
Categories: Logistics and time management · Making decisions · Moving Forward
Tagged: awareness, change, choices, dreams as plans, freedom, inspiration, stress, time, transition
I’m sitting here staring at my computer. It’s quite late Sunday evening, and for the first time since I started blogging last July I don’t have anything ready to post tomorrow. I’ve got a number of things partly thought-through and even partly written. I’d set aside some time today to sit down and write and was really looking forward to that, but as the day unfolded I found myself quite overwhelmed. Thank goodness I had the company of a couple of my oh-so-sweet nieces at a movie this afternoon and then had eight of us around a dinner table. And still there’s so much noise in my head – so many thoughts and feelings – that I can’t quite put words to paper. So I’m going to simply apologize that there’s really no posting for today. See you all on Thursday.
Categories: Making decisions
The thing about being at home a lot more – something I’ve looked forward to for some time – is that I’ve become more and more aware of the “flaws” in my living space. Seems like each time I open a closet or cupboard I shake my head, clench my teeth
(my dentist has already warned me about that response) and heave a sigh. How did all of those things get onto my closet shelves? Where did it all come from? Why do I keep it? How do I keep it from overwhelming me?
For several years when my children were young I wrote a special story for each of them – nicely illustrated by my then-husband – as a gift for one of the nights of Hanukah. I remember the one I wrote one year (wish I could find it) for my older son which was about things piling up and piling up until we’re neck-deep in mess. Did I write that for him or for me I wonder?
I also remember a book called Motel of the Mysteries that I frequently used with my gifted class; here’s the premise: in the 40th century the North American continent is covered with 200 feet of detritus from “pollutans literatus” and “pollutans gravitas” (junk mail and air pollution). Into this milieu enters Howard Carson who, like Howard Carter (an English archaeologist and Egyptologist, noted as a primary discoverer of the tomb of Tutankamun early in the 20th century), stumbles into an archaeological funerary site and opens the door into … “wonderful things.” True, I don’t fear being literally buried by my clutter, but it’s definitely threatening my peace of mind. Keep reading →
Categories: Logistics and time management · Making decisions · Moving Forward
Tagged: acknowledgement, awareness, closets, clutter, expectations, organizing
I had an e-mail just the other day from one of the women who has always 
been a mentor to me in education. She was one of a number of women I was fortunate enough to work with who inspired people to do more, to do better; a group of women who, through their incredibly hard work and remarkable talents were able to open doors for all women in education. There were six of them that I’d particularly like to mention because the things they taught me have “stuck” and I need to pause and think about them every so often as I make my way into this new part of life.
Why am I writing about this? Having an impact, making a difference; these continue to be very important to me. When I retired and ERGO (ESL/ELD Resource Group of Ontario) honoured me at a luncheon and had people talking about how my being there had made a difference …. well, that was incredible for me to hear. I worry that now that I’m retired I’ll soon become irrelevant somehow. So I want to pause here and think about women who’ve made a difference to me. They’re all amazing and they’ve taught me a lot; I share that with you.
Keep reading →
Categories: Identity · Lessons learned · Moving Forward
Tagged: acknowledgement, awareness, inspiration, memories
This has been a most interesting morning.
Sipping my first latte of the day I was thinking that 
I’d like to do some writing. Took out my laptop, plugged it in, and entered the world that lives inside this small silver container. I’d fallen asleep with the idea of writing about a group of women who opened so many doors and expanded opportunity for so many other women educators in Ontario, but when I started to write I just wasn’t sure how to begin. So I decided to just wait a while and sip my coffee and read the morning paper. I’d PVRd a PBS show on “The UltraMind Solution” and it was playing in the background. Can you picture it? I’m sitting in bed (with my head resting on my fabulous new 1,000 thread-count pillowcase incidentally … feels amazing) with my laptop in front of me, the newspaper to my right, the TV to my left. Happy.
Keep reading →
Categories: Lessons learned · Moving Forward · New awareness
Tagged: awareness, celebration, change, choices, expectations, Identity, roles
There’s something I’m struggling with these days. I’m afraid that I’m not contributing enough. A new form for guilt has entered my life that has both surprised me and left me curious. To explain, let me tell you about an amazing – and very enjoyable – experience I had a few days ago. Perhaps you’ll have had similar thoughts and feelings. Maybe you’ll have some good advice to share.
The day started early; I got up at 6 a.m. to finish preparing for the ESL class I was going to teach in that day. I’d start with using the newspaper to highlight both significant current events, to emphasize grammar points, and introduce new vocabulary. 
The paper that comes to the class doesn’t come to my front door so my sweet David was kind enough to go out really early and get me the paper so I could sip my latte at 6 a.m. and plan my teaching. What would I do without him? So … I taught until 2:30 and then came home. I had a couple of hours before my Bar Mitzvah student would arrive so decided I’d head around the corner to my Mignon – my favorite nails place – and get a pedicure. A little indulgence in a busy day; good thing, right?
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Categories: Identity · Lessons learned · Who am I? Identity by self
Tagged: awareness, change, expectations, fear, guilt, Identity, shoes, transition
Denis Waitley says that all of the top achievers he knows are “life-long learners looking for new skills, insights and ideas. If they’re not learning, they’re not growing … not moving toward excellence.” Well, one of the things that I’ve definitely learned in retirement so far is that I need some skills that I don’t seem to have.
Actually – I’m guessing that’s not quite accurate. Maybe I need to refine some of my existing skills so that they’re applicable in this new context? Perhaps, in the end, there will still be a few totally “new” skills too. Could there even be some things I’ve learned that I really need to un-learn or re-learn? Let me try to think this through.
Keep reading →
Categories: Identity · Logistics and time management · Moving Forward · New awareness
Tagged: awareness, change, choices, expectations, literary agents, marketing, organizing, publishers, record keeping, skills, transition
I’ve been reading this quite wonderful book. It’s called “Not Becoming my Mother … and other things she taught me along the way.” The author, Ruth Reichl, proudly begins by telling us that she’s written and spoken a lot about her mother; telling “Mim” (her mother’s name was Miriam) Tales á la stand up comedy routine. Then she comes upon a box filled with notes her mother’s written and letters she’d kept and suddenly she realized that she’d never really known who her mother was and that everything she did – and it does sound like she was a bit wacko – was to tell her daughter not to settle for less than she could be.
Why am I telling you this? I’ve been reading the book slowly: I read a few pages and then I take as much time as I need to process the way “Mim” is revealed bit by bit and then think about relationships in my own family. One of the effects of all of this is that I’ve been reminded how very fortunate I am to have a mother and sisters who have travelled life with me and have become such good friends. That’s a lucky thing for sure.
I’m going to digress into the past for a few paragraphs. Feel free to just skip ahead a bit (I’ve made it easy by identifying THE CONTEXT, INTO THE PAST and BACK TO THE PRESENT sub-titles) when you hit “read more”. Keep reading →
Categories: Aging and other hard realities · Identity · Making decisions · Moving Forward · New awareness
Tagged: awareness, change, choices, roles, transition
an hardly believe that it’s been a year since I started ruminating on what the transition from feminist professional career woman to retiree would be like. I keep trying to think of a word that describes this experience but I’m stymied. I did a little searching on definitions of retired (again) and here’s what I came up with: “Withdrawn from one’s occupation, business, or office; having finished one’s active working life.”
“a commercial enterprise and the people who constitute it; the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money (again), and … a rightful concern or responsibility.” Ah – well, I have certainly not left my sense of rightful concern or responsibility behind; in fact I now have so much more opportunity to focus on that. I have also clearly not finished my active working life.
