While you’re reading this I’m likely at my first Crones Counsel gathering, giving my first women and retirement workshop.  I’ve never been to any gathering even remotely like this before and (I’m writing this a few days before flying to Atlanta) I’m both excited and nervous about it.  Trying to avoid the work that I really needed to be doing a few days ago, and having spent as much time as I could doing things like photographing squirrels eating bananas,  I started surfing the net for interesting things.  In utter real – and virtual – humiliation I confess that I googled myself.  Yup, I did. If that’s not an indicator of insecurity I can’t imagine what is.  I guess it’s the new thing: e-inforcement (used to be reinforcement but we don’t need those Rs any more it seems).  So as I was working my way down the number of sites google had found for me I came to my Facebook page.  I opened it; I don’t do that very often and think that although I have a facebook page I don’t really understand how you’re supposed to use it/intereact with it.  And there on the right hand side of the screen was a column of advertisements.

This is the photo that appeared right after the text.  As I let my eyes settle on the photo I thought to myself; “interesting, three vibrant, attractive, healthy, women … interesting that they advertise that way.  The thought that at some point I’d end up in the company of other women, relaxed and happy, well that doesn’t seem so bad (although they do appear to be a bit more conservative than I am).  Wanting to find out more – as the blurb told me to – I “clicked here” and up popped the next image they wanted me to have of their shangri la.  

This time a very different set of thoughts went through my mind;  ah – that’s more of what I’d expect from an ad agency.  Cinderella and Prince Charming in their later years.  See how he’s peering deep into her eyes?  See that grin on their faces?  See that sensuous dip over backwards in the dance?  I grimace and feel a pang in my back if I look at it too long. Quickly I flipped through the rest of their ad.  There were two more couples in romantic pose, a couple with their extended family around them, and 1 single elderly gentleman driving a car with a grandchild in the back.  Now I know that by actuarial standards it’s highly likely that I’ll end up spending time in the company of other women; David’s a year older than me and statistically women outlive men.  And still they have to fill the brochure with these romantic images of bliss with Mr. Right at your side.  Enough of that.  I hope that I will still share many many many years with David; in fact when he proposed marriage nearly 10 years ago my response was “well, I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with you.”  But I don’t want to feel dread about what might come in the years ahead; I don’t want to see hanging out with other crones as anything but another delightful part of life.

Okay – so just so that Facebook can be a bit redeemed, the next time I clicked on it I came upon a much more inspiring ad for Vibrant Nation: What women 50+ know.    It’s so good, especially as I seem to be travelling on a fairly bumpy road these days, to find yet another place to connect with other like-spirited women.  How fabulous is that!