On Saturday night the Common Thread Choir performed it’s first concert of the year.  There are a lot of new singers in the choir this year (maybe there are just as many newbies every year but since I’m a newbie myself I don’t know that yet) and so for many of us it was our first performance with the choir. From the first rehearsal I attended in late September, not even 3 months ago, I’ve felt the exhiliration of singing together.  Still, I was pretty much unprepared for what it was going to feel like when we stepped out on the stage for the first time.  Let me take you to the concert with us.  I’m standing in the first row, 4th from your right.  If you look at the 2nd row of the audience, you’ll see the back of the heads of my mother’s friend Eleanor (in a red sweater), my Mom, David and Linda.  Esther’s taking the photo and Motti and Lauren are just out of range.

The concert was a benefit to support the Cecil Street Community Centre (where we rehearse) which was once the Ostrowiecz Synagogue (when Kensington Market was a Jewish hub for immigrants – before which it was evidently a Methodist church). There are still large plaster plaques, in Hebrew, embedded on the walls in the foyer.  Anyhow, feeling a little bit like a child saying “Mom, would you come to my school show?” I invited my mother and her best friend Eleanor, my good friends Esther (who came in all the way from London, Ont) and Linda, my son Motti and his girlfriend Lauren, and of course David to come; in fact I bought tickets for all of them.  We made plans for how to all meet at the concert (trickier than it might seem; I had to be there at 5:30 while they had to arrive at 6:30 and Esther had to get to the concert hall with her suitcase after arriving on the train).  With the logistics worked out all that remained was to be ready to sing.

Until two weeks ago we’d almost never sung any song all the way through – at rehearsals we tend to work on particular sections of each song to work out the rough spots – so I’d spent a lot of time in the past two weeks practicing at home.  Try and try and try as I might I’m still having problems in a few of the songs where the music’s tricky and we have to find a note that seems to always remain a little elusive to me.  I’d also spent time figuring out what I was going to wear (instructions were black shoes and pants, white shirt, something bright – a scarf, shawl, vest, jewellery).  All day on Saturday I was as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs; I spent the morning knitting, then David and I went out for lunch and to run some errands … and throughout the day if you listened very closely you’d likely have heard me singing “gogoni gogoni gogoni gogoni gogoni gogoni gogo – na” under my breath.  I think that I truly surprised David from time to time during the day when I’d engage in one of our voice warm up exercises – sometimes wailing like a banshee, sometimes hissing like a snake.  Finally it was time for David to drop me off at the subway and for me to head downtown.

One of my choirmates – actually the woman who stood right beside me (to my right) in the front row – sent this email the day after the performance; I’m using her words here because she managed to express – poetically – just how I’m feeling.

“After almost a decade singing with the choir you would think that I would have a visceral memory of what it is like to sing in “performance” versus “rehearsal”. But it is only when I stand in front of an audience that the impact of the difference strikes me. I suppose because in the span of a year we spend alot more of our time in “rehearsal mode” and we have less exposure to the environment of performance and the additional factors such as a new conductor, the venue, where we are standing, our audience size and the preparedness of the choir and section as a whole. Then I usually flash on the realization that ”this is it” meaning that there is only this engaged moment of all of our voices and hearts and minds coming together for this time in singing and sharing - at which point I have to work really hard to stay glued to the spot and not get overwhelmed with the shere beauty of our effort and the music we are making.”

For the half hour we were singing I was transported by the beauty of the music and being a part of this community.   As much as I enjoy performance in general (in the end, isn’t that the crux of what good teaching is?) there is something so incredible, so magical, so moving about performing as part of a group.  My voice alone, singing the alto part; no big deal.  Mix it in with 59 or so other voices, bring all that intent and energy together, and listen as the sounds blend and all of those voices become entwined and morph into something new.  It’s just one of those times when you feel so much a part of creation.

I wish you could have all been there to share it with me.  Here’s a wee sample for you to enjoy.

Common Thread Choir – Dec 5 09