My ex-husband and I spent almost three decades together and built a whole world during those long years of true emotions and a lot of turbulences. The emotions faded at some moment in life, we both changed significantly, and the underlying issues took over. It was obvious for quite some time that we are heading for an official ending. However, both of us are relatively old, and the world we’ve built together included a lot of mutual property, two (fortunately) grown-up children, common friends, social life and joined finances.
The connections were strong in so many ways, including legally, it was obvious to me that the divorce would be so much more than just a tough emotional cut. Too many friends ware trying to put me off this decision, focusing mostly on my age, the fact that I’d be starting over with quite uncertain finances and the legal counselors explained to me that divorce inevitably means losing a significant part of the property we’ve gained together. We had to sell our spacious family house to split the money and purchase separate apartments for both of us. All the other property was divided by the family law court, as well as the percentage of joint debts, loans, and mortgage.
Aside from all these legal and financial challenges that imposed search for a new job immediately after I’ve moved to the other side of the city, there was a lot of disapproving coming from our families, prejudices, and suggestions of bad reputation I was facing as a single woman in my age. Thinking about the potential loneliness was, also, frightening to some extent. A lot of friends took sides after my ex-husband, and I have split officially, thus my social life has changed dramatically. Looking back onto all of this, it was a complex struggle and fight, but I still think it was worth the new change I provided to myself.